Holding Back

resistance

This is one of THOSE posts. You know, the ones you write, rewrite, and leave sit in DRAFT mode for weeks before you finally just click publish and be done with it.  When I think back to what I learned in school, I can remember a few things.  Most of all? I learned to hold back.  Wait. Keep that idea to yourself.  Crazy ideas? They are not welcome in spaces that are all planned out and structured.  Creativity? It’s not only not welcome, it’s just weird.  I learned to keep quiet.  To not say or do what I was really thinking. I became a master of blending in.  Funny thing is, that skill has followed me.  All the way into my teaching.   I keep 95 percent of my ideas in my head or pour them into this blog.  This safe place.  Where it’s all mine.  The rest of my life? I say things in a safe way, or I fail to say them at all.

When you do things differently, people don’t like it.  People are afraid of it.  People will sometimes even hate you for it.  I like unicorns and sunshine.  I don’t like making people afraid… or the thought of having someone hate an idea I have? It makes me cringe. The second you get a little bit of recognition, you know it’s coming. The post-recognition fall-out. It’s not a popular thing to talk about, but it’s real.

But, I’ve reached a point where I’ve realized something.  Doing what I believe in is far more important than holding back to please others.  It’s not about fitting in after all.   It’s about following your heart, your gut, and your passion.  No matter what.

There, I said it. On my blog. Where it’s mostly unicorns and rainbows.

Now? I just need to live it.

 

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Krissy Venosdale

Krissy Venosdale

Forever Learner. Collaborator. Sharpie Collector. Poster Maker. Eternal Optimist. I still wish on stars.

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4 Responses

  1. Krissy,
    Thank you for writing this post! I’m right there with you. I hesitate when I have great, outlandish ideas because I know I may get a slap on the wrist. I’m a people pleaser and was raised to be a rule follower. Those two things don’t blend well with out of the box teaching. However, the 5% that does get through my “be normal” filter, is always amazing and my kids thank me for it. I need to trust my gut more often. Haters will always hate and find something to criticize. Time for my skin to get tough.

  2. Perfect post! I think it is something many people struggle with, particularly those that blog or otherwise speak in a public forum. It is just all so dang permanent. I am glad you are staying true to yourself, good on you!

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